Why does healing take so long?

I guess part of healing is dealing with the pain – to make the pain more manageable. And dealing with the pain takes time. You have to be patient with yourself. You need to allow yourself space and time to get over something.

Six years after my friend’s passing, the pain has become manageable. His memory faded to the back of my mind; that is what I mean by manageable. It is not as fresh as the first couple of years. So it took time.

Time was also the most significant healing factor with the passing of my grandparents. Now, there are only some days that I feel and experience the loss.

But, why has it to takes long? Is the longer it takes an indication of the greatness of your loss? I think so.

I say this because I have walked away from some complex situations over the years, and some weren’t as painful as others. My only explanation for this is the extent of one’s attachment to a particular object or subject. When that is taken away from you, your experience of loss is associated with the extent of your attachment.

And this is here, “letting go” comes in. Sometimes your sense of loss is informed by your fear of “letting go”. “Letting go” translate and reinforces your sense of loss—a finality. Thus, I think healing takes as long as you associate yourself with your loss.

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